Bombarded

Bombarded. It came to mind this morning as I began to read yet another website designed to update prayer worriers of a boy's progress after brain surgery not only three weeks ago. I got an e-mail from a friend back in TX who wanted me to pray for Jerrod Shelton...God answered in a mighty way and He is continuing to do so for another distant friend in TN. Copeland Farley passed away last month and yet her mother continues to share with us how she is dealing with loosing her week old baby girl. This family's testimony is breathtaking. God has used so much pain for so much good. Hundreds of bloggers have been touched by her writings, some even have come face to face with their own salvation. They have truly taken me to another place spiritually, yet I wonder, is there more? Copeland's mom wrote "the depths to which He will take us will only be matched by the depths of His character He longs to reveal." I crave for Him to reveal Himself to me in mighty ways, but wonder if there is more that I'm missing in the blessing. She hurts so desperately. She also wrote, "I also ache for the painless, for the life of ease where there was no need for the knowing." Is this me she is speaking of? Is she aching for me?

It was not until 2 years ago that my granddad died at 92 years old that I had faced loosing a loved one. I felt so blessed in that. He has been the only person remotely close to me to die. His wife is still living and will be 96 in just under 4 months. As we can all say, we never long for anyone that we know or love to pass away. I don't wish that on myself or any one else. However, I long to know the Jesus that she is getting to know. I long to know him at his core. What will that take?.......Life. And even life doesn't always bring believers to know him at his core. Who will it be? Who will be those that he says "flee from me for I never knew you." What is it to know him? If to know him is to trust him, how do I trust him. And when I do, it is not promised that I, and my family, will be protected from this fallen world. Its here and now. Its attacking. Its penetrating families, children, teens, marriages, and hearts. Its almost like I would want to buy some "Life insurance" package that allows me the knowledge to know that nothing bad will ever happen to me or anyone I know and love; meanwhile, I get to know Jesus wholeheartedly with no reservations. Wouldn't that be great? Maybe true deal in this "life insurance" package is that all of my worry and humanity is exchanged for Peace. Peace in knowing that the God of creation cares about measly little me. For whatever happens in my life's path, He cares and will bring Glory to His name, not mine. It may be the best life ever with dances through the wildflowers and/or it may stink (or as an old pastor once said "life sucks dirt"). Well, it may just do that. But for me the the exchange for my life is Peace. Peace beyond all understanding...that's just it, I don't get it. I don't get God's plan and nor should I ever. He is God. What a relief. This girl doesn't have to get it in order to gain it. He is the God that gives and takes away. Let blessing come and let His power prevail over darkness. Let healing take place. Let me be used in the brokenness that surrounds me. And let the God of the universe be revealed.